As a fan of baseball’s excruciating minutia, I like when umpires make all throws back to to the pitcher.

As an ersatz catcher, I hate it. 


I admit, I wanted Teddy Bridgewater with our second pick. That being said, it almost seemed destined to be. We sit down front in the friends and family section, and were behind three guys in head-to-toe A & M gear who had travelled from Texas to see Johnny Football get drafted. Behind us were four guys who drove up from Cleveland in “Johnny Cleveland” shirts. Picture is George Whitfield Jr., Johnny’s QB Guru. He asked the Johnny Cleveland guys to pose for a pic that he could take backstage and show Johnny.

So I’m pushing all my chips to the center of the table. Go Johnny Cleveland!

"three guys in head-to-toe A & M gear who had travelled from Texas to see Johnny Football get drafted."

I recognize all these words but strung together in this order they do not make sense to my brain. They do not compute. I do not understand on any level. 

Futbol in America - Extra Time

Because I enjoy “people watching” and “making snap character judgements based on clothing choices”, I like keeping tabs on soccer jerseys I come across. 

For the second time in three years, I visited the Magic Kingdom in Sweatstain, FLA. For the second time in three years, I kept a list of the other patrons I noticed wearing soccer jerseys. Only official/replica style shirts, no Nike branded Brazil crap (which was out in force.) 

Because it’s Disney World, there is a great chance some (or potentially all) these fine folks aren’t even American. No matter, here are the most popular football sides in America as proven by STATISTICS. 

  • David Silva Spain away - Baby blue and officially in the past as they’ve gone with a black away jersey for this World Cup
  • Orange Holland home - of dubious and/or Chinatown quality
  • USA - finally tally…two? 
  • Milan home 
  • Flamengo - Brazilian club. I had to look up the crest 
  • Rafa Marquez Barcalona -  one of three Barca kits spotted over two days (others were Messi or blank). Mes que une brand
  • England away - I was relieved it wasn’t blue
  • New York Red Bulls - Thierry Henry plays in the MLS. That is so fucking weird. 
  • Chelsea 
  • Real Madrid - both a Gareth Bale gamer and CR7. Galacticos! 
  • Clint Dempsey Seattle Sounders - a little kid that came dangerously close to “full kit wanker” status. Also met a mother/daughter pair of Sounders season ticket holders on a bus. 
  • PSG -  Implicitly Zlatan. 
  • Japan home - this dude was Japanese. 


Friends of Bill, Chip Zdarsky

Raleigh  nevver:

Friends of Bill, Chip Zdarsky

Raleigh  nevver:

Friends of Bill, Chip Zdarsky


Current status: 




Andrew Mastin. 2014.

Flawless beard.


Promo email for new Bridge Nine band playing ignorant hardcore. They look like this. The photo credit? Sean Sullivan. 

Gonna ride the T straight to hell. 


The office kitchen at work is not like the kitchen in most workplaces. It is stocked with snacks, fruit, drinks of all shape and size among other things. Treats as far as the eye can see. 

Because I long to eat better but lack the will to follow through with it, stuff like Zevia sugar free soda is perfect for me. It’s sugar free but comes in some interesting flavors and the “mouthful of loose change” aftertaste isn’t so bad. I can improve my health* by doing less than nothing. It’s almost too easy. 

I like Zevia’s root beer version and the black cherry flavor. Sometimes I’ll fuck with DR. ZEVIA because I admire the hustle.  

When those flavors are out of stock, I generally bypass the can o’poison in favor of a glass of water. Sometimes there’s a blue can that I don’t really bother with because the sprite variant doesn’t really do it for me. 

Except the blue can isn’t “lemon lime” or cream soda or 7 Up or even soda water. It’s COLA flavor. But the can is blue so I went on assuming it was any other flavor.

Because cola is red. Because my brain and soul were bought and sold years ago.


Cola = red. Sorry, Pepsi. You had a good run.